The Best of Hmmm... 1999

 

July 1999

America Is Fat
Our appetites match our lifestyles: quick, disposable and devoid of sustenance. We are unhealthy but freewheeling, reckless but carefree. America, built with muscle, likes to flaunt its foundation of fat. In Blubber We Trust.

June 1999

Buying A Home: How Much Land Does A Man Really Need?
Some days I feel like Pahom, walking in a big circle, wanting too much and killing yourself trying to get it.

February 1999

Cleaning the Scene of the Crime
Standing above the corpse, flashlight resting on the lawn, casting weird, long shadows over the creature's bared-fang death grimace, its frozen black eye, I wonder if I'm truly up for the task.

The Dark Future of Higher Learning

The food at the White Castle Cafeteria is great, but I'm sure glad Imodium AD took over sponsorship of the university health clinic!

January 1999

Flying the Y2K Skies
The hysteria about Y2K has prompted a short-lived, but quite lucrative cottage industry for software developers.