The Best Of Hmmm... 2000
November 2000
Few Waves For The Motorcade
Behind the tinted glass was the unmistakable silvery mane and
rugged profile of William Jefferson Clinton. I could only assume the bubbly
lady sitting beside him was Hillary.
September 2000
Biggie-Size Rat Ruins Appetites
A Wendy's employee stepped out into the street
to hand out coupons to passers-by. Because it was hot, he stood in the
shade cast by the enormous rodent.
August 2000
Got A Big Job? Send In The Slaves!
I'm proposing a Borrow-A-Chain Gang program.
Any taxpayer in good standing should have the right, once or twice per
year, to request a prison chain gang for his or her personal use.
July 2000
True Tales From The No. 7 Train
She pulled a medicine bottle from her pocket
and held it at arm's-length in order to prove her point. The effect was
no less dramatic than if she had pulled out a bloody human head.
May 2000
Take a chance on life's lottery
Whether you realize it or not, you're betting
against the odds that something terrible will happen to you. It's called
insurance, and you need it to protect everything from your car to your
house to your health.
March 2000
Luke Stairwalker and the Escalator of Doom
I can't shake the feeling
that I failed somehow, that I turned a blind eye to injustice. Not every
wrong can be righted, but you should at least try to stand up for
what's right.
January 2000
This is your government on drugs
What other government-sponsored messages have been broadcast
through your television under the guise of "entertainment"? Somebody has
to answer forTouched By An Angel!