Santa’s Little Helper Wants To Eat Your Children

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Tiny Writing On Bath Bottles Is Cruel Joke On The Naked

Every time I wash my hair I feel like the victim of a cruel joke…and not just because I’m naked in the shower. It’s because I can’t figure out which bottle is shampoo. My wife and daughter use a lot of different products, from shampoos and conditioners to body washes and cleansing gels. Everything comes […]

Do you hear what I hear? Probably not

“I need you to bring this dirty laundry down to the basement,” my wife said. “Move the stuff that’s in the washer to the dryer, and bring up the clean clothes that are down on the folding table.” “Yeah, yeah,” I replied, grabbing the laundry basket and heading down. “And don’t forget to separate the […]

20 QUESTIONS WITH THE INCREDIBLE LOU FERRIGNO

This is my final attempt at wise-ass humor circa 2000, where I cruelly goof on Lou Ferrigno’s deafness and speech impediment. I almost feel bad about it, but, as everybody saw on “Celebrity Apprentice,” the guy is kind of a dick. 20 QUESTIONS WITH THE INCREDIBLE LOU FERRIGNO A World Champion bodybuilder, Lou Ferrigno followed […]

THE FINAL DAYS OF WALTER MATTHAU

Here’s another weird bit of web satire from 2000. I don’t know why I decided to pick on Walter Matthau. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Good night, funny man Beloved comedic actor Walter Matthau, star of blockbuster films The Odd Couple, The Sunshine Boys, and Grumpy Old Men, kept […]

ELTON JOHN SHOCKER: “I’M NOT GAY!”

I wrote this back in March 2000 for a satire web site that was trying to compete with The Onion. The site didn’t last long, even though I thought some of the material was pretty funny. If you’re easily offended, you might want to skip this one. It’s just a joke…fag. Flamboyant Rocker Jumps Back […]