20 QUESTIONS WITH THE INCREDIBLE LOU FERRIGNO

This is my final attempt at wise-ass humor circa 2000, where I cruelly goof on Lou Ferrigno’s deafness and speech impediment. I almost feel bad about it, but, as everybody saw on “Celebrity Apprentice,” the guy is kind of a dick.

20 QUESTIONS WITH THE INCREDIBLE LOU FERRIGNO

A World Champion bodybuilder, Lou Ferrigno followed in buff pal Arnold Schwarzenegger’s deep footprints, and landed himself the lead role in the 1970s television show The Incredible Hulk. A pop culture icon, Lou is a regular at fan conventions and is currently enjoying a rejuvenated career as both a body-builder and actor.

QUESTION 1: Will you be trying out for a part in the new feature-length Incredible Hulk movie?

FERRIGNO: Dut?

QUESTION 2: I said, will you be involved in the upcoming Incredible Hulk movie?

FERRIGNO: Dut? I can’t underdamned you. Good you please pace me so I can weed your lips?

QUESTION 3: What?

FERRIGNO: Dut?

QUESTION 4: Excuse me?

FERRIGNO: I dead, dut?

QUESTION 5: Are you saying twat?

FERRIGNO: Dut?

QUESTION 6: Twat?

FERRIGNO: What?

QUESTION 7: Oh, what! I get it now.

FERRIGNO: Are you baking pun at pee?

QUESTION 8: What the fuck did you just say?

FERRIGNO: Hey, grew you, asshole. I was born deaf and I have a beach inbediment.

QUESTION 9: You have a beach inbediment? Do you live near the ocean?

FERRIGNO: Very punny, bluebag. Why don’t you buck off, you insensitive dastard.

QUESTION 10: Did you just call me a dastard? Come on…you’re doing this on purpose, right?

FERRIGNO: Hey pluck you! I don’t have to bake this slit!

QUESTION 11: Bake this slit? I never realized you were such a salty guy, Lou.

FERRIGNO: Do you wheelize I’m ducking deaf, and I have a bleach embattlement, you wick?

QUESTION 12: A bleach embattlement? And did you just call me a wick?

FERRIGNO: Dut?

QUESTION 13: Did you just call me a hut?

FERRIGNO: Dut?

QUESTION 14: Did you just call me a twat?

FERRIGNO: Twat the pork is wang with jew, ham?

QUESTION 15: Wow. That’s heavy, Lou.

FERRIGNO: Dut? Twat are you weighing?

QUESTION 16: I’m not weighing anything?

FERRIGNO: Look, this is willy.

QUESTION 17: Jesus Christ, are you going to whip your cock out, Lou?

FERRIGNO: Hey yuck foo, yam!

QUESTION 18: Wait a second…did you just understand that last question?

FERRIGNO: Twat?

QUESTION 19: Are you retarded or missing a chromosome or something?

FERRIGNO: Truck?

QUESTION 20: What?

FERRIGNO: Twat?

-30-