This is my final attempt at wise-ass humor circa 2000, where I cruelly goof on Lou Ferrigno’s deafness and speech impediment. I almost feel bad about it, but, as everybody saw on “Celebrity Apprentice,” the guy is kind of a dick.
20 QUESTIONS WITH THE INCREDIBLE LOU FERRIGNO
Big Lou shows off his monster muscles and swampy pits.
A World Champion bodybuilder, Lou Ferrigno followed in buff pal Arnold Schwarzenegger’s deep footprints, and landed himself the lead role in the 1970s television show The Incredible Hulk. A pop culture icon, Lou is a regular at fan conventions and is currently enjoying a rejuvenated career as both a body-builder and actor.
QUESTION 1: Will you be trying out for a part in the new feature-length Incredible Hulk movie?
FERRIGNO: Dut?
QUESTION 2: I said, will you be involved in the upcoming Incredible Hulk movie?
FERRIGNO: Dut? I can’t underdamned you. Good you please pace me so I can weed your lips?
QUESTION 3: What?
FERRIGNO: Dut?
QUESTION 4: Excuse me?
FERRIGNO: I dead, dut?
QUESTION 5: Are you saying twat?
FERRIGNO: Dut?
QUESTION 6: Twat?
FERRIGNO: What?
QUESTION 7: Oh, what! I get it now.
FERRIGNO: Are you baking pun at pee?
QUESTION 8: What the fuck did you just say?
FERRIGNO: Hey, grew you, asshole. I was born deaf and I have a beach inbediment.
QUESTION 9: You have a beach inbediment? Do you live near the ocean?
FERRIGNO: Very punny, bluebag. Why don’t you buck off, you insensitive dastard.
QUESTION 10: Did you just call me a dastard? Come on…you’re doing this on purpose, right?
FERRIGNO: Hey pluck you! I don’t have to bake this slit!
QUESTION 11: Bake this slit? I never realized you were such a salty guy, Lou.
FERRIGNO: Do you wheelize I’m ducking deaf, and I have a bleach embattlement, you wick?
QUESTION 12: A bleach embattlement? And did you just call me a wick?
“Bulk trash! Date, twat’s my wine?”
FERRIGNO: Dut?
QUESTION 13: Did you just call me a hut?
FERRIGNO: Dut?
QUESTION 14: Did you just call me a twat?
FERRIGNO: Twat the pork is wang with jew, ham?
QUESTION 15: Wow. That’s heavy, Lou.
FERRIGNO: Dut? Twat are you weighing?
QUESTION 16: I’m not weighing anything?
FERRIGNO: Look, this is willy.
QUESTION 17: Jesus Christ, are you going to whip your cock out, Lou?
FERRIGNO: Hey yuck foo, yam!
QUESTION 18: Wait a second…did you just understand that last question?
FERRIGNO: Twat?
QUESTION 19: Are you retarded or missing a chromosome or something?
FERRIGNO: Truck?
QUESTION 20: What?
FERRIGNO: Twat?
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