Rob Errera

Writer. Editor. Publisher. Musician. Autism Dad.

  • Home
  • Autism Dad
  • Books
  • Music
  • Book Reviews
  • Custom Guitars
  • Contact
  • Store

Dirty Dancing Ghost Makes For a Truly Scary Halloween

September 25, 2012 by roberrera 1 Comment

Boo, bitches!

The Grave Raver is our scariest Halloween decoration. After this column was published in October 2010, I received an email from the president of Gemmy Industries Corp. Even though I crapped on his products a bit, he said he “liked my style,” and offered to send me a free inflatable Christmas decoration. Damn my journalistic integrity — free stuff is cool! He hooked us up with a nice Peanuts inflatable; Charlie Brown and Snoopy decorating a tree. Unfortunately the boys perished in a blizzard the day after Christmas. Anyway, back to the Grave Raver…

My daughter had big ideas about the Halloween decorations she wanted this year.

We need a giant inflatable!” she suggested. “A giant pumpkin snow globe, or maybe Snoopy and Woodstock decorating their doghouse. Maybe a big witch, or Frankenstein. Maybe we should get two?”

She was vague on the specifics but knew she wanted something. And she had expensive tastes.

So when we saw the Grave Raver it seemed like a good compromise. It was a little tabletop ghost in a bowler hat and shoes that lit up and danced to a goofy tune. It was cute and within our budget.

My daughter loved it, kept our Grave Raver boogying until his batteries needed to be replaced. She showed the dancing ghost to everyone, including my twentysomething niece.

“I wonder who picks the music for these things?” my niece pondered. “This song has nothing to do with Halloween…and it isn’t really for kids either.”

“There’s a tag on the decoration that says it’s appropriate for ages three and up,” I said. “Uh…what song is this, anyway?”

It was a silly-but-catchy R&B tune with hip-hop drums. Being tragically unhip, I was unfamiliar with it.

“It’s a Timbaland song from a few years ago called ‘The Way I Are‘.”

The Way I Is, Is The Way I Be

My first thoughts were 1) Timbaland named himself after hiking boots but spelled his name wrong, and 2) the title of his self-affirming anthem was grammatically incorrect. Both mistakes are intentional (I guess) in the world of hip-hop. (In fairness, and as a Led Zeppelin/Lynyrd Skynyrd fan, intentional misspellings happen in the world of rock music, too.)

Then I Googled “The Way I Are” lyrics to see what our dancing ghost was singing about.

Baby if you strip, you could get a tip

‘Cause I like you just the way you are

I’m about to strip and I want it quick

Can you handle me the way I are?

I don’t need the cheese or the car keys

Boy I like you just the way you are

And let me see ya strip, you could get a tip

‘Cause I like you just the way you are

Yeah, strip club fun and bad grammar for the whole family! Maybe next year we’ll find a jack-o-lantern that sings about poppin’ a cap in the pole-lease and pistol-whippin’ his bee-yatches!

Yo fault, Big Poppa

There’s no one to blame but myself. I bought the dopey dancing ghost. But there were a lot of decisions made prior to my purchase that I have to question. For starters, why did the manufacturer, Gemmy Industries Corp. (“the world’s largest provider of all your favorite seasonal decor, animation entertainment and lighting products”) decide to make a “family friendly” Halloween decoration (“appropriate for ages three and up”) that plays a nonsensical, sexually charged hip-hop tune? Why not “The Monster Mash,” “Flying Purple People Eater,” or even Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”? Why did the local CVS have dozens of Grave Ravers on its Halloween shelf alongside plastic skulls and rubber bats?

Why would Timbaland allow his song to be used for such a product? In truth, it may not have been his decision alone. According to the label on our Grave Raver, it took no less than seven people to compose the profound musical opus that is “The Way I Are,” including Tim Mosley, which is Timbaland’s real name. (So why not call yourself ‘Tim Mosley’, which is a fine name, and much more pleasing to the ear than “Timbaland”?)

I Didn’t Know, Yo!

Because I’m a pop culture ignoramus, I didn’t know “The Way I Are” had already spread to other areas of entertainment. Timbaland licensed the song for use in a 2007 McDonald’s commercial (though the thought of Timbaland stripped naked seems a natural appetite suppressant) and for the NBA Live 2008 video game. The song also appeared in the movie Step Up 2, in the pilot for CW’s Gossip Girl, and former Spice Girl Mel B. danced to it on Dancing With The Stars. “They Way I Are” has been marketed and shopped around so much, it’s finally “trickled down” to a budget Halloween decoration the whole family can enjoy. On some level this “gangsta ghost” is the most frighten Halloween decoration we own.

Fortunately the audio quality on our ghostly dancer isn’t the greatest, so my six-year-old daughter hasn’t figured out the lyrics and asked me to explain. By next year she might…which is why I’m saving up for the Snoopy and Woodstock inflatable now.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

-30-
UPDATE September 2012: I saw the 2012 model of Gemmy’s Grave Raver in the CVS the other day. It’s a mummy dancing to “Thriller.” Another brilliant idea comes to fruition! I didn’t buy one, though. My daughter decided on this witchy puppy that sings the theme song to “The Addams Family” instead.

addams family pup

“They’re creepy and they’re kooky…”

Share the love!

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Family matters, Pop Culture & Social Trends Tagged With: gansta ghost, grave raver, hip-hop spook, The Addams Family

Comments

  1. streamate sex cam says

    May 1, 2013 at 7:24 pm

    Hey! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone 4! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the fantastic work!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • Home
  • Autism Dad
  • Books
  • Music
  • Book Reviews
  • Custom Guitars
  • Contact
  • Store

New Thriller! The Mud Man!

Born of mud.

Made for murder.

New! Autism Dad 3: Life Skills and Life Lessons!

Get A Job, Son!

Rob Rants About…

age of apology amateur writing autism Autism Dad blogging book review Brian Keene C. L. Holmes College Conjure Wife debut novel digital ban digital literature digitize classics digitize Salinger education Edward Lee family fatherhood Fritz Leiber future of publishing horror horror fiction Jack Ketchum Joe Hill John FD Taff journalism love story Lucky McKee memoir musical fiction mythology near-death experience new book no Salinger ebooks now available Our Great Abbess revenge tale Salinger Estate satire self publishing sensual nightmares short stories Stephen King weird

“Spine-Tingling Tales of Musical Terror!”

New Release! Autism Dad 2!

Autism Dad 2—'Tween Edition: Continuing Adventures in Autism, Adolescence & Fatherhood 
Get it @ Amazon!
   kindle
Get it@ Barnes & Noble!  nook
Get it@ Smashwords!   smashwords
Get it @ Createspace! Autism Dad 2: Autism, Adolescence & Fatherhood by Rob Errera

“Bloodcurdling Historical Horror!”

Our Great Abbess by C.L. Holmes

Get it @ Amazon!   kindle
Get it@ Barnes & Noble!  nook
Get it@ Smashwords!   smashwords

Dig The Enzertones!

Like It! Click It!

Like It! Click It!

Follow Rob!

Tweets by @haikubob

RSS

  • RSS - Posts
  • RSS - Comments

“Informative, poignant and engaging!”

Autism Dad: Adventures in Raising An Autistic Son
Autism Dad: Adventures in Raising An Autistic Son, $9.95 trade paperback / $3.99 ebook.
@ Amazon! kindle

@ Barnes & Noble! nook

@ Smashwords! smashwords

@ Createspace! Autism Dad: Adventures in Raising An Autistic Son by Rob Errera

More great posts!

autism dad cover

Get my new book, “Autism Dad”!

Check out my new book!  @  Smashwords  @  Barnes & Noble @  Amazon You should buy this book. You should buy all my books.You should build a shrine to my books in your home. Then write positive reviews about them, and tell everyone you know — total strangers, even — about how awe-inspiring they are. […]

The Woman by Jack Ketchum and Lucky McKee

Remember the fine young cannibals? Not the band that sang, “She Drives Me Crazy” and “Good Thing.” The band of cannibals that ate tourists along the coast of Maine in Jack Ketchum‘s classic novels, Off Season and Offspring. (Know by fans as Ketchum’s Dead River Series.) The Woman is back in all her feral glory, and authors Ketchum and […]

The Twelve by Justin Cronin

The Twelve is a well-written action thriller, a good, solid novel. But it doesn’t hold a candle to The Passage, the first book in author Justin Cronin’s post-apocalyptic vampire series. The Twelve suffers from the same “middle child syndrome” that plagues so may “Book 2s” in a trilogy series. It’s neither a beginning, nor an […]

“This book rocked my world!”

Hangman's Jam, A Symphony of Terror by Rob Errera

Buy it at Amazon! Hangman's Jam: A Symphony of Terror by Rob Errera.

Buy it at Barnes and Noble! Hangman's Jam: A Symphony of Terror by Rob Errera.

Buy it at Smashwords! Hangman's Jam: A Symphony of Terror by Rob Errera.

Buy it at Createspace! Hangman's Jam: A Symphony of Terror by Rob Errera.

Copyright © 2022 · News Child Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.