It is with little fanfare but no small amount of pride that I announce the release of my latest novel, The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight! To commemorate this fine achievement I interview myself below.
Q: What the hell is this?
A: It’s a book.
Q: What kind of book is it?
A: A new one.
Q: Asshole! What’s it about?
A: About 230 pages in print…60,000 words…
Q: You know you suck at book promotion.
A: Yes. I do.
Q: Is that why The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight was published with no pre-orders, no promotional copies, no ads, no reviews, no promotion of any kind?
Q: Is this an elaborate marketing scheme, like when Beyonce drops a surprise album without telling anyone?
A: No. I hit the wrong button while proofing the print version on Amazon and accidentally put the book on sale. So I figured I’d better release the ebook version also.
Q: How long has the book been out?
A: A few weeks.
Q: How’s the feedback so far?
A: I haven’t gotten any. Nobody knows about it. Nobody’s read it.
Q: Why should I read The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight?
A: It’s a good book.
Q: (sigh) What will I find in this book…and don’t say “words”!
A: Rock ’n’ roll, cosmic terror, dysfunctional twin brothers, inter-dimensional monstrosities, music management, human sacrifice, adult film actresses, zombie parenting, South American drug cartels, caregiver stress, the end of the world, and fat jokes. Other stuff too.
Q: This sounds similar to your first novel, Hangman’s Jam, except with more fat jokes.
A: It’s a sequel to Hangman’s Jam.
Q: See! Now you’re talking! Why didn’t you say that in the first place?
A: Because it’s more of a parallel novel than an outright sequel. Hangman’s Jam was narrated by Bobby Marks, the bass player for Allen Vent & The Strange Creations. The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight is the story the Boyle brothers, whose band opens for The Strange Creations. Bobby Marks dismissed Vinny and Vance Boyle as murderous henchmen, but there’s much more to these troubled twins. Some believe the Boyle brothers were the true talent at that final apocalyptic show in Rio De Janeiro.
Q: Wait, the world gets wiped out in The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight too, like it did in Hangman’s Jam?
A: It does.
Q: Fuck’s wrong with you, man?
A: The story demanded it.
Q: Why The Dunwich Horrors? What does it mean?
A: “The Dunwich Horror” is a classic HP Lovecraft story that about cosmic terror and dysfunctional brothers, themes prevalent in The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight. Plus, I thought The Dunwich Horrors was a cool name for the Boyle brothers’ band. (Although, the Boyle Brothers’ Band is a pretty cool name, too.)
Q: Who is HP Lovecraft?
A: Google him, douchebag!
Q: Fuck off! Do I have to read Hangman’s Jamfirst before reading The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight?
A: No. The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonightstands on its own.
Q: If I read Hangman’s Jam I don’t need to read The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight because it’s the same story, right?
A: No. They’re both novels about the same apocalypse, but they’re different stories. Like Schindler’s List and Diary Of Anne Frank are both about the Jewish holocaust, but they’re different stories.
Q: So you’d classify The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight as holocaust literature?
A: No! That was just an example!
Q: So The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight is based on actual events?
A: No! It’s a dark fantasy novel, you dunce!
Q: How dare you! You’re the dunce who decided to release a book without properly promoting it.
A: Point taken.
Q: Why would I want to read either Hangman’s Jam or The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight if the world ends? Isn’t that depressing?
A: Lots of things are depressing. But I have some uplifting news! I’ve written a happy ending of sorts into the third and final volume of the Hangman’s Jam Saga, which will be released in early 2020. It’s called Kiss The Sky Goodbyeand it’s available for pre-order on Amazon now.
Q: Wait a minute! Has this whole crappy interview been a backdoor promotion for Hangman’s Jam Volume III?
A: Yes, I suppose. But I had to let you know about Hangman’s Jam Volume II first. Heck, you can pick up a copy of Hangman’s Jam Volume I for a dollar! I’m putting it on sale. You might want to also grab a copy of Songs In The Key Of Madness to immerse yourself in the rich musical history of Hangman’s Jam. Oh, and don’t forget Sensual Nightmares. Selena Simpson from “The Porn Maid’s Tale” has a starring role in Kiss The Sky Goodbye.
Q: That’s your idea of book promotion? Putting the first book in a series on sale and releasing the second volume without telling anyone?
A: I’m telling you.
Q: I am you, fool!
A: Yes. Perhaps I should’ve thought about this promotional meta-interview beforehand.
Q: You can edit this section out.
Q: You won’t forget?
A: I’ll remember! Do you think I’m stupid?
A: Shit! You’re right! I made custom playlists on YouTube and Spotify that reflect the rock ’n’ roll themes of these novels. The chapter titles align with the song titles. Use these playlists as a type of “soundtrack” for The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight and Kiss The Sky Goodbye. Or pick your favorite song and start reading from there. The story probably won’t make sense, but at least you’ll be listening to your favorite song! All of the Hangman’s Jam stories are very musical, so I figured playlists are a good way to enhance the reading experience.
Q: So the world ends in Hangman’s Jam and The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight, but gets saved in Kiss The Sky Goodbye?
A: In a way. It’s hard to save something that’s been washed away, but humanity carries on. We’re hard to kill.
Q: You are a bundle of joy, Rob Errera!
A: Kiss The Sky Goodbye is a tale of rebirth and redemption. I hope fans of Hangman’s Jam and The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight will appreciate where I take the story. It’s not all dreary. There are a few jokes in there.
Q: Sounds like a hoot! It’s a good thing you’re so handsome, Rob Errera!
A: As are you!
Q: Do you want to jerk off together?
Get The Dunwich Horrors Die Tonight! (Only $2.99! The cost of a cup of coffee!)
Pre-Order Kiss The Sky Goodbye! (Only $3.99! The cost of a Starbucks cup of coffee!)
Get Hangman’s Jam: A Symphony Of Terror! (One dollar! Cheap!)
Get Songs In The Key Of Madness: New Variations On Hangman’s Jam! (One dollar! Cheap!)
Get Sensual Nightmares: Volume I! (One dollar! Cheap!)
Thanks, folks…and leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads!